Parenting

  This semester I have taken a Parenting Skills class, Child Development, and Family Relations and have learned so many new and exciting things about being a parent. I never realized how many different ways people parent and how different things can either build your child up or tear them down. The first thing that really stood out to me was punishment and rewards. This has been a major topic in all three of my classes. I always thought that rewards were a good thing and that they lifted the child up and helped them but it is the opposite. A child should want to work hard and want to do things for their benefit. I really learned this when I was growing up. My parents really taught me hard work and how to work for what I want. My parents didn't pay me for doing chores or getting a good grade in school.
    When children are rewarded for tasks such as doing the dishes or getting an A on the math test they expect a reward every time and it is proven that if they know they are going to get a reward no matter what they do they are more likely to not work as hard. I watched a study about children working on a puzzle. The children all did one puzzle and then the presenter told one group of children they would get a reward if they did another and finished it and another group did it without a reward. The children who knew they were getting a reward didn't want to finish the harder puzzle or even do it. The children who didn't get a reward worked hard and finished the puzzle. This just proves that children work harder when there is no reward and rewards can actually be a punishment.
  Another thing that really stuck out to me is punishment and how parents punish there children in multiple ways but it doesn't really ever help the child. Many people believe that punishing a child will make them learn faster and more than if they let them have natural consequences. The best way for children and teens to learn is through natural consequences. This is the best way unless 1. The thing they want to do is too dangerous. 2. The natural consequence is too far in the future. 3. Others would be affected by the decision the child is making. Other than these three things the child should be able to make choices and receive the natural consequence rather than getting spanked or getting a toy taken away. It is not about manipulation it is about teaching.