Blended and Stepfamilies

   As I was thinking of what to write for my last blog post I thought back to all that I wrote this semester and I can honestly say I have learned so much that I didn't even know I had questions about before. This week was really interesting as we talked about the different types of families and especially going over the baggage and trials of having a blended family or adding a step family into the family structure. The thing that really stood out to me was how important it was that if you get divorced or have a death in the family and you remarry it will take about 2 years to get to normalcy. The biological parent should do all of the heavy discipline, the stepparents role should be similar to that of an aunt or uncle, and the biological parent and the new step-parent will be having more closed-door discussion. These are really important to remember as you come into a family where your spouse has kids or that you are apart of a blended family.
  There are also suggestions for dealing with problems of being a stepparent. 1. Let the relationship with your new stepchildren develop slowly and gradually, do not expect to become their best friend or start laying down rules right when you meet them. 2. Don't try and replace the lost parent, try and be an additional parent to your stepchild. 3. Expect different feelings from yourself, your spouse, and from your new stepchildren, this really helps create the family structure and the new family unity. 4. Make sure that your feelings get shown and be open and fair and honest to yourself and your spouse and new stepchildren. These are only a couple of ways to make sure that your stepfamily is bonding and creating intimacy.